The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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