she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
