I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
