I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
