I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
