if only i could text you this smell
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
