What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
