Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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