Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
