y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
