so that wasnt chicken after all
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
