Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
