It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
