You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
