I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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