so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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