There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
