what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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