She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
