just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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