I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
