chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
