I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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