So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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