It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
