What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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