In the future we'll all be gay
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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