There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
The cops high fived after they tackled you
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
