Plan B is the new Plan A
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
