Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
