if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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