Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
