The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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