Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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