Going to get a "plan B"urrito
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
