I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
