Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My pussy is not your playground.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
