Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
