new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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