we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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