Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
