We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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