On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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