I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
