i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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