I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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