yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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