Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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