My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
