I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
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