I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
