You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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