just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
