My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
