you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
